A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER OVERWEIGHT SELF
I am writing this blog ( letter) to my younger self as part of a self healing process as well as to encourage others to maybe do the same. As I was growing up my addiction was food. I would sneak it, hide it and eat when nobody was around. With any addiction whether it be alcohol, drugs, or smoking, we all have to learn how to deal with the situation we are put in. This can be extremely challenging to be at a party, at a bar, or around others with addictions. Eventually we learn how to deal with these situations. I believe “when you are in control of a situation~you are healed”
You look so happy and always smiling, but I know now that deep down that’s not the case. I’m not sure why, you have a good life, amazing parents, 3 great siblings, a caring grandmother and an awesome fun loving aunt. There are many that care so much about you.
I love seeing you swim, you enjoy the friends and the competitiveness of your team. It’s an awful feeling every time you have get fitted for bathing suits especially since you are the biggest girl on the team. Being an overweight teenager is tough. I don’t like when the kids at school would make comments behind your back. High school was worse, it’s so upsetting when you couldn’t find a prom date or boyfriend because nobody wants to date a fat girl.
You will never forget the unkind words from friends and family. Even though they are hurtful they are only trying to help you. It’s hard to understand and embarrassing when they suggested diets, weight loss classes, and diet camps. It never seems better when everyone including doctors are constantly telling you that you must lose weight. You know you have to lose weight,you think about it everyday. You have tried a couple of things but mentally you weren’t ready I guess.
Even all that shopping at “plus” stores was hard back then but I do know that someday you will love to buy clothes ( at any store) and finally be proud of how you look in them.
You will be comfortable eating in front of people and order what you want. Nobody will judge you when you order french fries instead of a salad.
You are “in it for the long run”…
Amazing things happen in the future! I love that you are so committed to walk or do your Tae bo video for just 30 minutes a day.You do whatever it takes, rain or shine, getting up early, or squeeze it in during lunch.Those walks eventually turn into runs, those runs turn into 5 mile runs. These will change your life. You become super motivated as you slowly start to lose weight. You start preparing some meals and give up Burger King’s chicken sandwich’s, fries, and diet cokes. You start cutting down on your portions. You will try different diets, weight watchers, atkins, etc. in hopes that something will work for you.
It will take some time, motivation, and a lot of confidence. You will have to dig deep and work hard. You stick with it, there are definitely ups and downs but eventually it pays off!
The best part is you get to help other people in your same situation. You will be inspiring, happy and confident. Hang in there, you can do this and you will be so proud of what you’ve accomplished.
More confident Rachel
P.S. you won’t believe what kind of desserts you will be eating 😉